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Month: January 2015

We’re not in Heaven yet…

I had a dream in which I was reading a book (and I very rarely read books in dreams). It was some guy’s autobiography. He wrote that he had met a spirit on his front lawn and that it “convinced me there was a God in Heaven who flicked all life into existence.” And then something I can’t remember. And then, “Every human soul is wise enough to remember that flick.”

One of the classic arguments for atheism. “If God exists, he must be evil to allow such suffering.”

Firstly, as I’ve blogged about before, the argument depends on a misunderstanding of the concept of God, separating God into two parts: some conscious entity who supposedly has magic powers to create the world and allow or disallow suffering as he sees fit, and an objective “right” and “wrong”, “good” and “evil”, that transcends God and which is then applied to God. And if God is judged to be “evil” by our standards, he can therefore not exist. Can you see the logical problem? The problem with negating God’s existence with an objective understanding of evil is that an objective understanding of evil can therefore not exist either. And if that doesn’t exist, you’ve lost your means by which to negate God’s existence.

In other words, your sense of “good” and “evil” is your sense God Himself. So judging God to be evil for allowing suffering does not negate his existence; rather, it reveals a paradox in your understanding of his will. The problem lies in our understanding. Why does God allow suffering, especially suffering that is not our fault? It seems so unjust! It is true enough that turning to atheism may seem to relieve the problem, but it hardly justifies it on a logical level.

And does atheism really relieve the problem? Does “banishing God” really make the suffering of the world any better? Now the suffering is OK because there is no grand entity to blame for it? If an atheist still holds that there exists, even if only in the mind, an ideal world in which there is no suffering, a sense of justice and a division between a moral right and wrong, an understanding that there is an objective difference between suffering and non-suffering, is he really an atheist? Or is he a theist who has lost hope and is angry at the God he blames for his suffering, and tries to relieve his guilt for that by calling himself an atheist?

But what about the suffering?

I’m afraid I don’t know why God allows all the suffering he does. I suspect we cannot know the reasons in this lifetime at all; it is something we may only be able to understand when we are able to see God face to face in Heaven. But it takes no more faith than a young child can conjure to believe that there is a reason, a good and perfect reason, and that it all works out for the good in the end. And even if I had no faith, this is the only logical conclusion there is, lest I abandon all sense of “good” and “evil” with God Himself.

I also suspect the reason has something to do with Free Will. The recognition that God allows suffering is at the very heart of faith; what faith would one need if there were no suffering? What faith would one need if we were all just born into Heaven? The entire point of the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden is that mankind is estranged from God; every son and daughter is estranged because their parents were estranged; that we are born estranged from God and that the life we live now was never what God ultimately intended for us; that there exists perfection (God) and that we don’t have it yet. The entire point of the story is a recognition that, hey, guess what? There’s suffering here, and we’re gonna feel it. And when you feel it, you can do two things: Turn to God, praying and hoping and striving and working to get back to his perfection. Or give up.

One thing you cannot logically do, however, is blame God for making you give up. That’s all on you.

Why does a child suffering from bone cancer stir the human heart? Why feel something for that child? As cheesy as it might sound, if you are having trouble believing in God, start there, with the feelings in your own heart. The easiest place to find God is in your natural desire to love. I do not mean your desire to love is evidence of God, I mean it is God Himself. The purity, perfection, omnipotence, omniscience, and forgiveness of God can all be found there, in your heart, in what you know as love. It is the portal to Heaven.

And it’s not just a one-way portal.

Build the kingdom

Maybe think about it this way: There is a kingdom in which there is no suffering. Some people left the kingdom in order to expand it, to build it in places it wasn’t before. Of course, outside of the kingdom there is suffering; it is painful to be outside of the kingdom. In this exile, the builders have children. The children, by nature of being born outside the kingdom, also experience suffering. But they were all also born with pieces of the kingdom, portals to bring the kingdom to where they are, and an assurance that they would never be disconnected from the kingdom (lest they knowingly cut that connection themselves).

Does it make any sense to blame the kingdom for the conditions experienced by the exiled children? “How dare the kingdom not already be here!”?

January projects…

A lot of people (as in one person) have asked me what I’m doing with myself these days, especially now that my novel Son of a Dark Wizard is indie-pubbed and garnering much acclaim and success, in its own slow way. So here’s what I’m up to, or at least what I’m trying to be up to:

  • I’ve started writing a new fantasy novel, which I blogged a little about on my writing blog.
  • I’m reading books and watching movies and playing video games (occasionally updating my media consumption log). This is for research of course.

Here are the other projects I hope to be working on soon as well, for the rest of this month and into February 2015:

  • Continue working on my co-writing projects.
  • Continue working the musical score forĀ Son of a Dark Wizard. (I have an overflow of musical themes and ideas at this point, but I still want to keep experimenting with some things before I start actually writing the tracks.)
  • Start working on that long-dreamed-of web-comic.

The web-comic will be based on the children’s animated series proposal I put together a few years ago, about a young programmer who teams up with aliens to defeat galactic villains. Rather than your traditional web-comic that features a daily panel, I think my comic will be more like storyboard panels that must be viewed one at a time, preferably in full-screen; the user need only to click a button to move to the next panel. Though that sort of format may limit the comic in certain ways, I think it might also allow for a more immersive experience, especially if viewed in full-screen. I just have to figure out how to actually program that, and how I might be able to integrate it into WordPress. And then I have to, you know, actually draw all the panels. So this isn’t going to be finished anytime soon, but I figure I can go ahead and get started.

My 2014 favorites

Here’s another year’s worth of favorites! As usual, for books, the nominees are books I finished reading for the first time in 2014, regardless of their publication date. Movies and film scores must have been first released in the USA in 2014.

Hope y’all have a great 2015!

Year’s best live action film:boyhood

Year’s best animated film:boyhood

Year’s best film score:boyhood

Year’s best nonfiction book:boyhood

Year’s best fiction book:boyhood