{"id":1122,"date":"2011-12-31T01:34:10","date_gmt":"2011-12-31T05:34:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/?p=1122"},"modified":"2011-12-31T03:52:56","modified_gmt":"2011-12-31T07:52:56","slug":"tintin-was-awful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/?p=1122","title":{"rendered":"Tintin was awful"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s my terribly negative review of the recent film The Adventures of Tintin<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\"The_Adventures_of_Tintin_-_Secret_of_the_Unicorn\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never read the comics.  And, to be honest, from the previews, I didn\u2019t expect it to be that great.  But it was worse than I could\u2019ve possibly imagined.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t much like the character design.  On the technical side, they were amazing<\/em>.  But on the design side, they were a bit disgusting<\/em>.  Realistic enough to make their cartoon-ness quite creepy.  <\/p>\n

The acting all seemed a bit overdone; everyone was gesturing and moving their arms about and turning their heads curiously too much like awful high school actors in a school play.<\/p>\n

The camera kept doing this constant wobble.  I guess the director was trying to make it seem more natural, more realistic, but it was just annoying.  Yes, you can make a computer camera seem natural, you\u2019re very smart, stop it.<\/p>\n

The worst part, though, was the dialog.  The main character, Tintin, feels the need to say all his thoughts out loud because we\u2019re too dumb to figure anything out for ourselves.  \u201cNow where<\/em> did I put that magnifying glass?\u201d  I don\u2019t know, Dora, where could it be?  This goes on and on.  Shut up already!  Let me enjoy the atmosphere of this CGI world.  No, you just have to keep on telling me how curious everything is to you.<\/p>\n

Maybe one has to be familiar with the comics for this movie, because I just didn\u2019t care about Tintin at all.  I guess it was because Tintin himself didn\u2019t really care about anything.  He just wanted to solve the mystery and find the hidden treasure because… oh, just because!  Character motivation?  Pfft!  Who needs that?  He was just born to go after the treasure, save for the all-is-lost moment near the end, when he gives up for the simple reason that he\u2019s supposed to at that part of the story.  What will get him to break into act 3?  Some of the worst scriptwriting ever, of course!  \u201cDon\u2019t let failure stop you!\u201d  Wow, thanks!  How encouraging and inspiring!<\/p>\n

The humor was atrocious.  We\u2019re meant to laugh at people getting hit on the back of the head with a plank of wood and passing out.  Hahahaha!  How innovative!  Bumbling police men.  Hahaha!  Being drunk!  Hahaha!  I never thought I\u2019d see humor so worse than Disney Channel\u2019s dismal laugh-tracked offerings.<\/p>\n

The elements that I did appreciate (for the bad elements were so bad that the most I can do for the good elements is \u201cappreciate\u201d them) were the over-the-top action sequences, especially that magnificent one near the end when the characters are racing through the city chasing slivers of paper, all shown in one long glorious long shot like an epic level from a video game.  I can\u2019t help but imagine how awesome the scene might have been if the story surrounding it wasn\u2019t complete drivel.<\/p>\n

I also appreciated the clever scene transitions, possible only with CGI.  Again, though, not enough for the quality to be considered redeeming.<\/p>\n

Overall, it was a horrible movie.  One of the worst movies I\u2019ve ever seen.  Just depressing.<\/p>\n

It\u2019ll be interesting to see whether or not they make a sequel as planned.  If Peter Jackson directs the sequel, I may give it a chance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s my terribly negative review of the recent film The Adventures of Tintin. I\u2019ve never read the comics.  And, to be honest, from the previews, I didn\u2019t expect it to be that great.  But it was worse than I could\u2019ve possibly imagined. I didn\u2019t much like the character design.  On […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[99],"tags":[459],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7gI4B-i6","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wizardwalk.com\/newblather\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}